Today I was feeling very sentimental since it is the day my father passed on…

Of course that was 36 years ago and has long since been a day to honor his memory,

not to be sad or mourn him.

With the sadness that always arises for me at the end of football season…

I chose to honor him by wearing a Steelers outfit…

I feel like football is one lasting tie to him that I forever cherish..

With age comes a new perspective and I am truly amazed at his patience with

answering all my questions during game time….

I look at my youngest who is fourteen and imagine myself at 13 when he died…

I can’t imagine that for my children and am glad they haven’t had that in their childhood journey…

In this moment my young photographer was joking me

about not wearing a jacket for the photo shoot so he could show off his Patriots shirt…

That saddened me for a split second as I pictured him with my father…

The hardest part of having a father who died when I was a child is not sharing my children with hjm…

I have no doubt he sees this part of my life and is proud….

I sat down thinking I can’t write about this today… I am pleased that I didn’t even attempt to do my father justice and describe him, as I know that my words would not have at all been satisfactory.  I prefer to cherish him in my heart than to fully try to explain him to the world….

I will share a wonderful story about my youngest….From the moment he could speak he spoke of remembering being in Heaven and has offered some incredible stories.  

A few months after my mother passed the electricity went out and my husband was outside getting the generator going, while the rest of us gathered all the candles in the den  and put them on the round end table and lit them.. As soon as my youngest who was 9 at the time, saw them, he lit up and said, “Can you all leave me alone, I want to go visit Mama?” When he saw me look at him with surprise, he reassured me with , “Don’t worry, Mom, part of me is going to stay here.”  The rest of the family obliged and moved to the kitchen to work on moving out the refrigerator and getting together extension cords…We completed the task and were pushing the frig back into place when I felt the arms of my youngest go around my waist squeezing me tight with all the strength he could muster… Nothing could have shocked and delighted me more than what he said in that moment…”Mom, I saw your father and now I know why , you are who you are!”  He couldn’t have been more right and I will forever cherish this special child and that amazing moment!  I may have shared this story before, but have no qualms repeating it…